


Be Careful With Your Buckets

by ascatman



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Buckets, Fingering, Horn Stimulation, M/M, PWP, Tentabulges
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-17
Updated: 2012-10-17
Packaged: 2017-11-16 12:57:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,905
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/539671
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ascatman/pseuds/ascatman
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>While hanging out with John, Karkat miscalculates the amount of items in his sylladex and an unfortunate accident involving an inappropriate item occurs.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Be Careful With Your Buckets

**Author's Note:**

> A literate "reads like a fanfiction RP" between Kitty and Terry

Karkat is currently seated in front of John's movie shelf, pulling out random cases to read the back before tossing them aside with a muttered expletive. Finally he turns to the human with a glare. “Why the hell don't you have anything good?!” he demands, pulling out another movie and making a face at the boring description before adding it to the pile with a groan. “This is all just a bunch of shit! I mean seriously, come on, John, who the fuck is this 'Nicolas Cage' and why do you have such a strange infatuation with him? Practically everything you own has his fucking face on it!”

John huffs and crosses his arms with a pout. “I _like_ Nicolas Cage. Maybe if you tried actually watching one of his movies, you would too.” Karkat is a difficult troll to deal with—almost everything that comes out of his mouth is negative or angry. John is determined not to let it get to him. “C'mon, just grab one that looks interesting and we'll give it a shot.”

Karkat narrows his eyes at John then gives a loud over-dramatic sigh. “Fine, I'll _try_ to make it through one of his stupid movies. But don't be surprised if I end up choking myself to death with my own bulge because it's so terrible.” He grabs a random movie out of the pile and throws it into John's lap.

John rolls his eyes and tosses it back to Karkat. “The TV's upstairs. You carry it.” He pushes himself to his feet and stretches (they'd been sitting there nearly an hour as Karkat rummaged through John's movies) before heading towards the door and motioning for Karkat to follow.

Karkat makes a face at the movie in his lap, but stands up and captchalogues it anyway without paying any attention to the amount of items he was already carrying, causing a very unfortunate accident. His pail goes flying out of his sylladex and manages to land right on John's head. Karkat's eyes go wide and his mouth hangs open, there is no way that really just happened and OH GOD THE BUCKET STILL HAD STUFF IN IT. Karkat can only stare as his genetic material drips down John's face, his cheeks go bright red as his bulge begins to writhe in his pants and before John can say anything, Karkat grabs the bucket and runs off to shut himself in the bathroom.

John can only stand there in shock as Karkat grabs the bucket from his head and runs away. What had just happened? He lifts up his hand and touches the slimy liquid covering his face, immediately recoiling in horror when he sees the colour. Is that _blood?_  
He takes a deep breath, desperately trying not to freak out as he slowly follows Karkat to the bathroom and knocks on the door. “Karkat? Buddy? What—what is this stuff?” he hedges, not really wanting to know the answer.

Karkat sits in the bathtub, clutching the bucket to his chest as he tries to fight the urge to touch his bulge, but it's becoming harder and harder to ignore the writhing in his pants and he finally gives in, setting the bucket down before yanking his pants down to his ankles and giving his bulge a much needed stroke. The tendril like appendage curls around his fingers in approval and he lets out a little moan, which he instantly tries to stifle as he hears John's voice. “G-go away!” he shouts.

“Yeah, no, I'm not gonna do that.” John pauses, listening to the faint noises coming from inside the bathroom. “Look, whatever this stuff is, I've gotta clean it off, so I'm coming in, okay?” Without waiting for a response, he pushes open the door and steps inside. He immediately wishes he hadn't when the sight of Karkat stroking what appeared to be a tentacle between his legs hits him.

Karkat lets out a high pitched sound of distress and instantly reaches for his pants to pull them up, but his bulge has other plans and refuses to let go of his hand. He gives a groan of utter defeat and attempts to hide his bulge the best that he can. “Just- _fuck!_ Just get outta here, fuckass!” He grabs a bar of nearby soap to throw at John.

John ducks the bar of soap and continues to stare. “Holy shit dude, is that your _penis_?” It wasn't the _absolute_ dumbest thing he could have said given the current situation, but it was pretty high up there. But he's so confused—why is Karkat masturbating in his bathroom at such a time?   
Wait a minute.  
He suddenly remembers something Vriska told him about buckets.  
“Dude, is this your _cum?!?_ ” he exclaims, holding his arms out at his sides as a look of horror crosses his face.

Karkat can't recall a time when he'd ever been so embarrassed and he turns to face away from John. “If by 'cum' you mean _genetic material_ , then yes, it's my fucking cum.” He tries again unsuccessfully to separate his bulge from his hand. “ _Dammit,_ ” he hisses, then throws a glare over his shoulder at John. “This is all your fault with your stupid shitty Nicolas Cage movies! Just get out of here and let me finish. It's bad enough my bulge is reacting to _you_ , the least you could do is give me a little goddamn privacy to finish what you started.”

John's head is swimming, and he tries to make sense of this whole situation. “So wait...you brought a bucket full of _cum_ to my house, which inevitably spilled, and that is somehow _my_ fault?!?” He's about to start yelling, when his brain finally registers what Karkat had said. “...Reacting to me?” Is Karkat trying to say that John is turning him _on_?

Karkat's eyes widen for a moment before narrowing back to a glare. “Yes. Reacting to you.” He turns his head away, refusing to let John see the dark blush spreading across his face. “It's not like _I_ get to decide what it reacts to!” His bulge curls a little tighter around his fingers and he lets out a quiet whine. “Y-you think I would _choose_ to let myself get like this because you had to go and spill my bucket all over yourself? Because I wouldn't.”

John feels his face heating up as Karkat talks, and he's suddenly glad that the troll is facing away from him. “Um,” he begins, taking another step forward so that he was standing directly behind Karkat. “If it makes you feel better, you, uh...you tend to do that to me, too.” He takes a deep breath. “But I, uh, I generally _don't_ mind.”

Karkat feels John's presence directly behind him and he slowly turns his head to look at him, causing his bulge to tighten slightly as he fully takes in the sight of John covered in his genetic material, he swallows and glances back down to his lap. “Are you saying your bulge reacts to me too?”

John nods silently, and dammit if he can't feel his “bulge” _reacting_ right this second. “It's not...it's not a bad thing,” he mumbles, looking away awkwardly. “I...” Oh god, why is he telling Karkat this? “I kind of _like_ to think about you when I...uh...But I'm not a homosexual!” he exclaims quickly.

Karkat raises an eyebrow at John. “I don't think I'll ever understand your weird human obsession with genders.” He clears his throat and glances at John's crotch, he doesn't see any wiggling going on beneath the fabric, but the human definitely seems like he's interested in him, so he makes a bold decision. “Well... I don't know about you, but _my_ stupid problem isn't going to go away until I deal with it.” He averts his gaze. “So the way I see it, you can either get the fuck out, or you can stay and we could sort of... both help each other out.”

John shifts uncomfortably, hesitating as he tries to decide what to do. On one hand, if he accepts Karkat's offer, well...he's been wanting to get with the troll for the longest time. But if he does, he's going to have to admit (to himself, mostly) that he is attracted to dudes.  
Oh, to hell with it. “Sounds good to me,” he replies, and climbs into the tub beside Karkat.

Karkat finally manages to untangle his fingers from his bulge and he quickly kicks his pants the rest of the way off before tossing them to the floor. “So how the fuck do we even do this?” He can't tear his gaze from John's crotch as he tries to make sense of the lack of movement he's seeing there. “I've never even _tried_ mating with someone, let alone a stinking human.” Finally he can't take it anymore and his hands shoot out to fondle John's crotch, he's taken aback by the hardness he feels there. “The fuck's wrong with your bulge?”

John turns beet red as Karkat grabs him, and he bats his hands away in embarrassment. “T-that's what happens when I get aroused, okay?” He hesitantly unzips his jeans and pulls his dick out. “See? Yours looks weird to me, too. B-but that's how it's supposed to— _ah!_ ” he cries out as Karkat's bulge shoots out and wraps tightly around his erection.

Karkat lets out a gasp as his bulge wraps around John's and he instinctively moves closer to the human, placing his hands on John's shoulders and pushing him to his back. “ _Fuck_ , John,” he groans as his bulge begins moving up and down, stroking the other boy and pleasuring them both.

“Oh god, oh god,” John whimpers as he's pinned down against the cold porcelain of the bathtub, and he finds himself moaning softly as Karkat's bulge moves, secreting a messy lubricant as it slips easily over John's cock. “K-Karkat,” he gasps softly, bucking his hips up and digging his nails into the troll's shoulders. 

Karkat feels some feral instincts taking him over and he grips John's shirt, barely managing not to tear it as he yanks it over his head. He sheds his own shirt next before making quick work of pulling John's pants the rest of the way off. Once they're both completely naked, he finds himself running his hands over John's body as he grinds himself harder against him, his bulge takes the hint and speeds up a bit. “This is so fucking... _fuck_ ,” he manages to breathe out.

John surrenders himself, allowing Karkat to strip him naked and then wrapping his arms around that lovely grey body as it grinds down against him. “ _Karkat,_ ” he moans, leaning up to capture the troll's lips in a sloppy, inexperienced kiss. He's a mess and he knows it, but he's so fucking turned on right now that he doesn't care.

Karkat's eyes widen as John kisses him, then he's taking over the kiss, slipping his tongue into John's mouth and nipping lightly at his lip. He's so preoccupied with his mouth that he doesn't notice his bulge untangle from around John's and begin slipping lower until the tip was attempting to wriggle inside John. Karkat breaks the kiss and glances down to see just what the fuck was going on just in time to let out a moan as his bulge slowly begins to disappear inside the other boy. “ _Shit,_ ” he gasps. “Is this... fuck, is this okay?”

John yelps in surprise and tries to shy away from Karkat's bulge, but it's already buried halfway inside of him. “G-guess I don't have much choice, huh?” he laughs nervously, then lets out a startled gasp as it brushes against his prostate. “ _Shit!!!_ ”

Karkat lets out a moan as John clenches around him and he tightens his grip on the boy's shoulders as his bulge finally disappears completely inside of him. “Fuck, John, y-you doing okay there?” he manages to gasp out.

“Yep! F-fine,” John laughs, his voice strained. He lets out a loud gasp as Karkat's bulge wiggles around inside of him, then begins to push in and out. He clings desperately to Karkat's shoulders, and tears sting his eyes as pleasure mingles with pain. This wasn't exactly how he had envisioned his first time, but he couldn't really complain, because hey, he's _having sex with Karkat._

Karkat stares down at John for a moment as if trying to decide whether he should really continue or not, then his bulge makes the decision for him as it wiggles around and thrusts itself in and out. He mutters another little “Fuck” and starts thrusting his hips, forcing his bulge out to the tip and slamming it back in. He manages to bury his face in John's neck just in time to suppress a cry and bites down on the flesh there in an attempt to muffle any other noises he might unintentionally make.

John sucks in his breath as Karkat buries his sharp teeth into his neck, and he moans, wrapping his legs around the troll's waist and thrusting upwards shamelessly. He gasps out Karkat's name as the pleasure quickly overrides any discomfort he'd been experiencing, and he somehow gathers enough courage to reach around and press his finger against Karkat's nook, pushing it inside slowly.

Karkat's eyes go wide as John's finger enters him and it takes all his self control not to bite down even harder on his neck in response. “Wh-what the fuck are you...” he trails off into a groan and finds himself pressing back against John's finger as his bulge continues to writhe and thrust inside of him.

John just grins and makes a little “shoosh” noise as he carefully inserts another finger, crooking his knuckles and rubbing against Karkat's prostate. He's quickly distracted by the bulge inside of him, however, as it speeds up and its thrusts grow rougher. “Fuck!” he mumbles, lifting his hips up needfully and clawing at Karkat's back with his free hand. 

Karkat grabs John's free hand and slowly directs it up to one of his horns, he wraps it around the hard appendage and lets out this quiet little whine as he moves it up and down. “ _John,_ ” he gasps, and his voice surprises him because he's never moaned someone's name like that, the stimulation and the desire and the _need_ is almost too much and he knows he won't last much longer. He reaches down to grip John's cock and stroke it in time with his thrusts.

John makes a surprised noise as Karkat strokes him, and begins thrusting his fingers in and out as he pumps the troll's horn. He yanks Karkat down and takes the other one his mouth, moaning around the hard appendage and thrusting his hips up wantonly. He's going to cum any moment now, and he wants Karkat to _feel_ it when he does.

Karkat loses it at that and he bites down hard on John's collarbone, muffling his scream as he gives one final thrust into John and then he's cumming hard, bucking his hips erratically as he releases, completely filling John with his genetic material. He pumps the boy's cock hard and fast, raking his claws down John's side as his genetic material flows out around his bulge, staining the tub a light red.

John can't hold back a scream as Karkat fills him up, and he loses it, spurting hot white cum all over his and Karkat's stomachs as his body thrusts upwards. “ _Karkat,_ ” he moans, his breathing slowing down as he comes down from his high, and he leans up to press a gentle kiss to the troll's dark lips. 

Karkat takes in a few deep breaths and slowly pulls out of John, he makes a face at the red puddle beneath him and mutters a half-hearted apology. He sits back and examines the sticky white substance on his stomach. “Humans are so fucking weird,” he concludes. He glances back up at John and manages to catch his gaze, his cheeks redden and he looks away quickly, crossing his arms. “Don't think I'm gonna cuddle with you or anything.”

John just giggles. “You've got cum on your face.” A good deal of the copious amounts that had poured onto John's face from the bucket had transferred onto Karkat when they kissed. “Here, lemme get that.” He leans forward and licks the bright red cum from Karkat's face, planting a kiss on his cheek when he finishes.

Karkat makes a face, narrowing his eyes at John as he pulls away, but then his expression softens slightly and he wraps his arms around John, leaning in to give his cum-covered face the same treatment, why was he being so goddamn kinky all of a sudden? He grabs his bucket and tosses it over the tub to the floor. “That settles it. You're my new bucket.” He gives a small nod of approval at his own idea.

Despite his lack of knowledge concerning troll culture, John has a pretty good idea of what this means, and he grins like crazy as he returns Karkat's embrace. “Only if you cuddle me afterward every time.”

Karkat gives a loud over-dramatic sigh, but makes no move to pull away. The corner of his mouth twitches upward and he presses his face into John's neck. “We'll see,” he mumbles.


End file.
